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Emotions, Triggers & Stories
“Your state is a state of mind. Change your state, and you can change your life.”
~ Tony Robbins“Your state of mind is often a default disposition. It’s a habit that can be modified with intention and practice.”
~ M. Grunburg
Emotions: Beyond the Trigger Lies the Story
Tony Robbins nails it when he speaks about how a red flashing light in your rearview mirror can instantly change your physiology - your physical state.
But, there’s more to the story, so to speak.
That jolt of emotion – fear – isn’t purely a reaction to the red light itself.
The fear reaction is associated with a story about the red light.
The red light triggers a stored story in our minds; either a direct or shared memory from past experiences about red flashing lights in rear-view mirrors.
Now, consider the Three Circles of Behavior Echo-System (model below) - a behavior model with three concentric circles: ENVIRONMENT (outermost circle), BEHAVIOR (middle concentric circle), and STORIES (the innermost circle).
These two; STORIES/THINKING and ENVIRONMENT, are the core influencers of one’s behavior while feelings/emotions act as membranes and/or conduits between these two major influencers.
The Three Circles of Behavior Echo-System is the first of its kind behavior model to demonstrate how energy and information flow - vibrate and reverberate, to alter one’s behaviors.
This reverberation results in a perpetual “behavior echo-system.” To be clear, this is not an eco-system. ECHO - as in reverberate; it’s a system of component parts that forge/influence one’s behaviors, habits and skills.
Everyone lives within their own perpetual behavior echo-system.
While you can share an environment with someone, you cannot share a behavior echo-system with anyone; your experiences, meanings, stored stories, and perceptions are always unique.
Thus, when a red light flashes in your rear-view mirror it triggers a signal to your senses; immediately you access any stored stories.
It’s the stories that influence your emotions and ultimately, your behavior.
Tony’s correct: the red light does change one’s state.
Importantly, the fear emotion isn’t about the trigger itself – the red light, it’s about the STORY - the meaning - that’s been stored about the red light.
If the only time you saw a red light in your rear-view mirror you received a million dollars, what emotion might you have the next time you saw a red light in your rear view mirror?
Tony’s example and NLP in general provides another way to articulate and illustrate the power of one’s stored STORIES – and of course, Three Circles of Behavior Echo System.
By understanding this behavior echo-system, we gain the ability to observe our behaviors and reactions and rewrite our internal narratives to respond and even differently.
The next time something triggers an unwanted emotion, or behavior recognize the story that you’re telling yourself.
BONUS: How to Intentionally develop habits and skills. It’s simple!
HOW TO INTENTIONALLY CULTIVATE ANY NEW HABIT OR SKILL AT WILL
Follow P.A.R.R., the habit development framework first published in The Habit Factor® (2010).
**Plan, Act, Record, Reassess** PARR provides a repeatable, predictable and practical roadmap for transforming fleeting good intentions into ingrained habits and skills.
The PLAN begins with identifying “Target Days” and “Minimum Success Criteria.” (learn more here)
**ACT** upon your plan bridges the gap between intention and action/behavior!
**RECORD** your experiences (Habit Tracking) allows for self-efficacy, introspection and reinforces your intention.
Finally, **REASSESS** your actions/behaviors against your plan allows you to assess your progress and even “raise the bar” for your next 28-day habit tracking period. Following PARR is a proven way to increase Habitstrength™.
By repeating the P.A.R.R. habit tracking process for successive 28-Day tracking periods, the automaticity and habitstrength™ of any habit or skill increases.
Through this iterative, intentional practice approach - any virtue, habit and/or skill can be developed by following P.A.R.R.
Aloha my friend! 🤙
Enjoy the show!
~mg
P.A.R.R., with its emphasis on planning, acting, recording, and reassessing, provides a powerful framework for translating intentions into lasting habits and increasing Habitstrength™.
The link to the tracking sheet is here: https://thehabitfactor.com/templates
Additional:
Download the free habits-to-goals tracking template to cultivate the habits that support your goals here: https://thehabitfactor.com/templates.
Books that may help "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale and "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.
MG’s Books: EVERYTHING is a F*cking Story, The Pressure Paradox™ & The Habit Factor®
Check out the latest cohort offering; the waitlist is now open: The 28-Day Breakthrough!
*Recently Awarded: “Finalist: Self-help, Motivation”
International Book Awards: EVERYTHING is a F*cking STORY.
Visit https://thehabitfactor.com/templates
To learn more about P.A.R.R., just Google “P.A.R.R. and The Habit Factor.”
Get The Habit Factor® FREE with your audible trial! https://audibletrial.com/habits2goals
Feedspot’s “Top 10 Habit Podcasts You Must Follow in 2021”
New listeners, grab your free habits 2 goals tracking template here: https://thehabitfactor.com/templates
FREE copy of As a Man Thinketh (PDF) right here: As a Man Thinketh
Emotions, Triggers & Stories